I am not a believer in last ditch efforts. Books and movies will have you believe that a last ditch effort can save the day. The protagonist in many romantic comedies/dramas win their lover back with some grandiose plan or gesture. I would love to see the couples from those movies 6 months to a year from the last ditch effort. I bet the situation has regressed to where it was. Last ditch efforts are NOT indicators of real change. Real change happens over time.
Why do I feel this way? Because I’ve fallen for Mr. Ex’s Last Ditch Efforts over the last couple of years. As anyone who’s gotten divorced will tell you, marriages don’t fracture and fall apart overnight. Our marriage had been crumbling for some time. At key points in the demise of our marriage, I threatened Mr. Ex with divorce. He would counter with some spectacular display of affection or change. I’m ashamed to admit that I bought it. Things would be great for a short while, but would revert back to the same crap. I have inadvertently encouraged Last Ditch efforts.
Now that he’s trying them again, he’s very frustrated that they’re not working anymore. He even asked me why. Quite frankly, I’m tired of the dog and pony shows. I don’t want to hear the crying or the promises to change. He’s even tried to cite examples of how he’s changed. This actually makes me angrier. Does this mean that if I need to be heard or changes need to be made that I have to take drastic measures? Or do I just have to wait 5 years to see results? I’m done. My patience and my naivety have run out. Mr. Ex can keep his last ditch efforts. If he had treated me the way I deserved all along, they wouldn’t be necessary.
